/source/eggdrop/Fortune.txt |
@@ -0,0 +1,83 @@ |
A closed mouth gathers no feet. |
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. |
A king's castle is his home. |
A penny saved is ridiculous. |
All that glitters has a high refractive index. |
Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. |
Anarchy is better that no government at all. |
Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object. |
As you read the scroll, it vanishes... |
Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people. |
Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue. |
Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before. |
Brain -- the apparatus with which we think that we think. |
BATCH - A group, kinda like a herd. |
Computer hackers do it all night long. |
Computer modelers simulate it first. |
Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit. |
Computer programmers know how to use their hardware. |
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. |
Courage is your greatest present need. |
CLEARASOL - Effective sunspot remover. |
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. |
Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'. |
Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer. |
Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's bad... |
Don't force it, get a larger hammer. |
Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. |
Drive defensively -- buy a tank. |
Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends. |
Entropy isn't what it used to be. |
Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality. |
Familiarity breeds children. |
God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th. |
Going the speed of light is bad for your age. |
GAY ABANDON - Homosexual repellent perfume. |
He who hesitates is sometimes saved. |
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. |
Help support helpless victims of computer error. |
Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it. |
History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other. |
I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did. |
If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed. |
If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem! |
In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds. |
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. Albert Einstein |
It works better if you plug it in. |
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. |
Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. |
KODACLONE - duplicating film. |
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. |
Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else. |
Life's a bitch, then you die. |
Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. |
Mediocrity thrives on standardization. |
MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team. |
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth. |
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement. |
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. |
QUARKBAR - the candy with flavour and charm. |
QUASIMOTO - 4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France. |
Reality's the only obstacle to happiness. |
Screw up your life, you've screwed everything else up. |
Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will. |
Some grow with responsibility, others just swell. |
SQWERTY - Computer keyboard sized down for use by children. |
SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING. |
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord. |
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. |
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
The road to to success is always under construction. |
Those who can't write, write help files. |
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters. |
To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer. |
Today is the last day of your life so far. |
TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids. |
Wasting time is an important part of life. |
When all else fails, read the instructions. |
When in doubt, don't bother. |
Xerox does it again and again and again and... |
XMODEM - A spot-marking transfer protocol. |
YTERM - A terminal program for queries. |
When in doubt, ignore it. |
I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice. |